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  Topic Review (Newest First)
26-04-2019 18:36
aldra I know Iím having difficulties

I know Iím getting older

It was just too sudden for me

Iím no spring chicken, nor do I expect to be

I just didnít expect this

That my body would give up before my mind

Not cancer or as yet any life threatening illness

Although my heart valve is pushing its last in years

Somehow that doesnít matter, I knew when I chose a tissue valve itís life was limited

But I didnít expect my bloody joints to give up the ghost

Trap me in a situation that I canít seem to sort out

My little bit of a cow I can talk to , itís me and him or maybe her

And we have an agreement he/ she will do the best they can

My joints, ligaments are strangers

Will my bit of a cow desert me too .??

Sandra
26-04-2019 12:08
jiwawa Sandra, I'm sure in your working life you advised many patients on ways around their difficulties. Perhaps you should apply the same thinking to your own situation? I know you're fighting against getting older and less able, but in doing that you're making life much more difficult than it need be.

A cleaner, as suggested, is an obvious answer to one of your difficulties - and if the first doesn't work out, try another.

Install a high toilet seat - we did when we moved to our ground-floor apartment shortly before my husband died. We weren't going to get any younger, and it's been great.

Pursue the pain clinic as advised by Pat - and then work on acceptance! (said in a supportive manner)
25-04-2019 20:32
patp Ask at reception in your surgery to see if you can self refer to a Pain Clinic. I know you can self refer to a physiotherapist so it may be possible to get yourself an appointment without having to persuade your GP.
They are the specialists. It is their passion to help people cope with their pain so make use of them.
25-04-2019 19:40
aldra Now I didnít Pat

No referral was made

In desperation I allow myself two ibuprofen a day

Sod my kidneys

When arthritis first started to impact my life

It took two years before the GP listened

I was a hypochondriac

He told me my bloods were fine , I was fine, I could hardly walk

And finally I told him to get me a wheelchair

He referred XRays

And found I have a type of arthritis due to calcium crystals in joints and ligaments

The flare ups I was not imagining

When I couldnít walk, I couldn't walk

So alls gone well from then?

Well it hasnít, tablets to relieve pain I canít take

They have found others?

Well no

They havenít bothered

Itís been two years since I saw the rheumatologist

And steadily Iím getting worse

Iím thinking should I get a toilet seat that raises it , cos sometimes itís hard

Seats are a problem

And when Iím invited out I worry

Can I sit down

And more importantly get up again

At home I have a seat

I can eat at the table

And who knows when I begin to ride on the trike

Iíll be transformed

Sandra
25-04-2019 19:03
patp Did you ever find out about the pain clinic Sandra?

Chris is not allowed to mention his pain in front of our daughter (a physiotherapist) because she has told him, countless times, that there are answers out there but they need to come from specialists. These specialists can prescribe drugs that can be taken along side other medication and by people with various ailments that preclude them from taking the usual drugs.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to find out that you could be pain free?
25-04-2019 18:08
aldra viv, If was you , so would I

jan Iím not feeling sorry for myself

Iím genuinely concerned

I rarely go out now

A toss up, a trip to the supermarket or the washing

Ray I canít be busy anymore

It takes all the running I can do to stay in the same place

And itís not a place I wanted to be

Iím struggling and I donít really need friends who tell me how well they would do if they were me

Please God , Iíve never told someone who is genuinely struggling

ďWell if I were you, Iíd cope fine, better than you girl ď

And Iím sure you all would cope better than me

But unfortunately itís me thatís trying to cope

Sandra
25-04-2019 12:00
raynipper I retired from gainful employment 37 years ago and have never been busier. I guess I am thankful most bits are still functioning although hearing and teeth leave lots to be desired.
I worked to live and not the other way round. It's amazing the things that pop out of the woodwork to keep one occupied and interested. Life is too short and my bucket list is off the page.

Ray.
25-04-2019 10:35
HermanHymer Well said Pat!!! To add, "Take kindly the counsel of the years gracefully surrendering the things of youth....And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."


Losing control is perhaps one of the greatest fears of old age, and with good reason. However, nothing you can do can prevent it happening. But that does not mean that we should fight it to the end of reason, nor does it mean we have to give in gracefully. There's a middle road, always a Plan B and a Plan C. Often when we're the ONE we can't see it but others can. Sometimes all it takes is someone to hold our hands and take us forward.


Sandra, if I was you, I'd be doing things differently.
25-04-2019 10:22
patp My mother in law used to say, all the time, "don't get old" We used to chuckle.

I am sure that we feel very vulnerable when we can no longer use the "flight" part of our fight/flight response. Our world shrinks and everything needs to be risk assessed even if we have no idea that we are doing it. This leads to stress which leads us to shrink our world to the safe parts.

Like you, I found retiring very difficult. It almost makes you a non person. I missed the camararderie and the support of colleagues. I missed being good at my job and getting good feedback from others.

During a particular down period I forced myself to join a few local groups and it did help. There are lots of choirs that are run for the community and I loved that until the choir master started to give us homework I popped in to a village chit chat group and helped out there. Met some nice people. Helped fund raise. It just gave me a sense of being useful for a while.
I hear that volunteering is very good for us retirees. I am sure your people skills would be much in demand Sandra at a drop in centre for families struggling through life?
24-04-2019 22:46
JanHank Your not making any sense to me, maybe you do to yourself and others but not to me. Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't help the situation, doing something to help yourself will.
I'm off to bed, no stairs to climb 😉
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