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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-08-2019, 09:46 Thread Starter
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Talking Fits in for Sunday

Church Bulletins



They're back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:



The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.

Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water'

The sermon tonight: ĎSearching for Jesus'

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.


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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.


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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.


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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'

Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.


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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.


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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.

They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.

Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.


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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.


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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.

Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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And this one just about sums them all up ...

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!'

I'm Jan
We learn something new every day.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-08-2019, 19:10
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Well she wonít see it

So Iím fine

How often we make mistakes

On here is classic

We try say want we donít really mean but there is plenty waiting to dive on it

And itís funny

But actually itís not funny

Itís people trying to say whatís important to them

And it comes out wrong

Is that familiar ?

Sandra
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 20:32
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Do the decent thing and give it a rest Sandra, trolling really is quite pathetic, but it’s starting to suit you !

I'm a Euro Unionist, Testiculi ad Brexitam

Brexit: the incapable in pursuit of the unobtainable to satisfy the delusional. (Edwin Hayward)

In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 20:54
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Why am I trolling?

Iím making a point

I doubt that those who posted intended to make a mistake

Just as those on here didnít intended to make a mistake

Unfortunately big brother is watching , although till now I didnít have you down as big brother

Don't accuse me of trolling , you may not like what I post

But I have an equal right to you to post

But that doesnít mean I canít post without being accused of something Iím not doing

Fortunately Iím not in the least intimidated by an open forum

And I donít require you or anyone else to like or dislike what I post

But Iím really interested in how trolling is suiting me

Explain what trolling is

How is it suiting me ?

And once I know what it is , should I continue?
AS IT SUITS ME

Aldra
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 21:25
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It's a Jokes & Trivia thread.

Don't play the daft one with me, you say you're educated....Trolling, just google it and stop stirring the pot.

I'm a Euro Unionist, Testiculi ad Brexitam

Brexit: the incapable in pursuit of the unobtainable to satisfy the delusional. (Edwin Hayward)

In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 21:43
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oh well thatís fine then

Me well education

No thatís a can of worms

Yep Iím educated to MSc level

But trolling wasnít covered , and why should I google it

When I have an expert on here

Who has already decided it suits me
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