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JP 05-11-2010 22:31

Tell us your Funny Stories
Now it's started we better post.
Our first trip to a nudist beach was in France in the Vendee near to Fromentine.
We decided to give it a go and arrived on the beach and very quickly removed our clothing trying to look like old proís.
After a while I felt quite at home and seeing an ice cream girl wheeling her barrow down the beach I decided to go and buy one.
She stopped about 30 yards away and I waited for the queue to disappear, I picked up some cash and headed over.
By the time I had covered the ground a group of families had arrived and I was now at the back of a very large queue with loads of children all taking ages to choose.
So I stood feeling very exposed, my feet burning on the sand for what seemed like ages twiddling my Euroís.
When it was my turn I grabbed the first two lollies I could see and scurried back to my towel wondering where to put my change.


kc10 05-11-2010 22:42

Wheehey. Brill.

I thought about a topic where we could tell of our first experiences. I thought of calling it either 'Kit off' (as in kick off but not sure that works) or 'nuddy buddies'. I'm drafting mine now. At least this is up and running now.

I think it's important to say that jokes and humour are NOT banned.



greenasthegrass 05-11-2010 22:49

Brill start!

22 years ago my then boyfriend took me home to meet the family - yuk! his sister passed round her holiday photos zzzzzzzzz until we got to one where this woman with massive baps was in the background.

I think the phrase "have you seen the size of her baps" escaped from me gob then the earth didn't open up and swallow me unfortunately, as then sister said "yeh that was Pam a friend we had gone with!"

Sister is now shop steward of a sister-in-law no wonder we don't see eye to eye. Well fancy showing ya baps in public :oops:

Greenie :oops: :oops:

DTPCHEMICALS 06-11-2010 00:22

:lol: Obviously not bacon baps.

My problem was trying to find a long enough fig leaf. :wink:

Dave p

bulawayolass 06-11-2010 04:28

Dave in your dreams :lol:

Loads funny things. Hub and l took friend of a friend to base of a cliff on friends finca to see the sea. The lass and l were chatting away ignoring Brian who true to the male whose brain is in neutral strips off to have a swim as it is nice and private.

We turn round and he is happily whistling to himself folding his clothes the poor lasses face when white and she makes the weirdest sound almost a scream.
Brian looks up in fright wondering what's going on l try to not laugh at the situation, give my dearest a telling off and explain that we are just naturist's and added to that Brian is a brainless pratt for not thinking.

She was ok when she realised he was not going to do anything to her even saw the humour.

bulawayolass 06-11-2010 04:41

I keep getting the urge to post something about naturist in the "Outdoor Bits" section someone please tie my hands down before l give in to temptation

kc10 06-11-2010 08:47

Ha ha . When they were talking about where to put this forum last night I looked through the list and 'outdoor bittz' was an option for me. I thought it would have been inappropriate to say that though.

JohnH 06-11-2010 11:49

Many years ago my wife and I were camping in the Aquitaine region and we had made friends with a family consisting of husband, wife and two teenage children. We had one of our teenage sons with us.
Each day we went to the beach, we went to the textile side and they went to the naturist side. One day the husband said why not come over and have a beer. To cut a long story short I went over in the afternoon and chatted to all but the husband who had gone for a swim.
The family were laughing at me standing/sitting there with trunks on while everyone around was naked. I was getting tempted to disrobe and asked the good lady why her husband was nicknamed "big John" when he was not very tall or very fat.
How naive can you be. I was about to disrobe when "big John" came back from swimming.
No more comment is really necessary. I know the origin of his nickname.

Focusgirl 07-11-2010 19:56

:D Not so much funny as extoling the virtues of naturism was a time when at Arnachout on the west coast of France we had a wonderful meal at our place with family and a group of friends. It was evening and a bit cool so everyone was wearing some clothing. When it was time to leave there was a torrential downpour meaning everyone would get soaked! What did they do? Put their clothing in carrier bags to keep dry and ran home naked in the rain!
Now, if you have never tried running naked in the rain you have never lived. OK walk then.

kc10 07-11-2010 20:49

We had our first naturist experience in the bag and were now in Italy. I had made some pact with myself that I would get my kit off in each of the European countries we got to. We had stopped in a lovely small town and Mrs KC10 had gone in the shops so I thought I would nip in to the tourismo and ask if there were any naturist sites in the area. So in I went and asked in my best Italian. The girl was very helpful and pointed one out in the accommodation guide. I left and went to the van and read it. There was no mention of this place being a naturist site. Back into the tourismo to make sure and again the girl confirmed this was a naturist site so I assumed here local knowledge would be good so I trusted her. The wife came back and we headed off and soon enough we were there. I approached reception as an older man was approached me. I asked him if this was a naturist site and he shrugged his shoulders in a sort of 'if you want' manner with a 'si'. My Italian is very limited so again I took him at his word. I entered the reception and was greeted by a very friendly middle-aged woman who was very smartly dressed and very pleasant. She was getting me checked in and had started filling in the paperwork but there was just something not right so I thought I'd ask again in my best Italian. She went ballistic at me shouting 'Bambino bambino' then shoved me out the reception door slamming it in my face. I seen the old man again who hurried off.

I went back into the van and my wife said 'It's not a naturist site is it?' - 'No'.

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