Join Date: Feb 2013
My Motorhome: Hobby750 FMse
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
This is not going to plan - help!
The situation -
A teenage daughter. A motorhome. Neither seem to get along.
I've been with my partner for a couple of years now. I get along brilliantly with her (our) daughter. She is an absolute delight. She really is! She works hard at school and is a pleasure to be around. I like her. She likes me. Theres no deeper issues going on, she just doesnt like the motorhome....I mean REALLY doesnt like it!
She doesnt like the toilet, the bed, the shower, the heating, the lack of internet, basic television, the close proximity to us (no bedroom for privacy) the places we visit, the places we stay etc etc.. She didnt shower for five days. She refused point blank to use it. This is from a kid who showers twice a day.
She isnt argumentative about it, just sits in the van reading a book. She wont step foot outside the van and constantly asks when are we going home, exactly what time are we setting off for home, exactly what time will will be back at home.
We bought her an archery kit (which she loves) and used it once for five minutes then went back in the van. We've bought kites, we have the daft dog, we load the van with enough treats, chocoloate and special meals you'd think we lived like kings! we try and choose interesting places to visit. Nothing is working. She hates it.
I was aware she didnt like it from a couple of 48 hour trips we did to see her brother in Blackpoool. They were just short trips to test the water and get her accustomed to it. We had beaches for the dog and her big brother took her shopping then they came back to the motorhome and we all had a lovely tea.
She didnt like it.
Her mum said its not up to her, she's too young to stay at home so she's got to come with us. We are the parents, she is the child. The logic is sound. But I dont like sitting in close proximity to someone who is obviously miserable and not enjoying what is supposed to be a holiday. Its not supposed to be a punishment. I love her dearly. And she knows that. I only want the best for her. Her mum loves her dearly and they have a great relationship.
It all came to a head with the trip to Scotland. We were supposed to be away for ten days. We arrived back at home after six days. It was just too much for me to listen to her asking when we were going home after day one. She knew when we were going and where to, and for how long. It got so uncomfortable at one point I drove a hundred miles to Fort William to get her a McDonalds meal just to cheer her up. I went to bed that night on a car park and knew this will never work.
I suppose I gave up at that point and my face or actions must have betrayed me in the morning. My other half said very curtly "I suppose you want to go home now"...I said "OK. I'm ready right now"
We drove home in silience and havent spoken for three days. I know its going to be my fault when the big 'discussion' finally happens. It wasnt. I know it wasnt my fault. It wasnt teenagers fault. It wasnt my other half's fault. Teenager doesnt like Cheryl. We do. Nobody is 'at fault' nobody did anything wrong.
...And daft dog has to come along so we need beaches and lots of outdoor things for him as well. Its his holiday too! Daft dog is teenage daughters dog, she got him as a puppy but he seems to have taken to me and the bigger he gets, the more he seems to be my responsibility (which I love) I like him and I like walking him and throwing balls and generally having fun with him.
The motorhome wasnt an impulse buy. It was discussed for over a year and we went as a family (with teenager and daft dog!) and looked at countless models and layouts. My folks have a Hobby 750 and we went away with them for weekends too. Teenager never raised an objection at this point. Maybe she thought it would never happen?
Teenager has a nice life. She has a good circle of friends, She is well liked and respected at school. We live in a nice area (I moved to their home, so no upheavel) We get on really well. Teenager has been amazingly welcoming of me. We get on really well as a family unit.
I cant think of any underlying issues apart from teenager just doesnt like motorhoming.
So now what?
Force teenager into something she doesnt like?
Split up and go full timing???
The last one is a joke...of sorts.