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post #51 of 57 (permalink) Old 10-08-2014, 10:39
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Great post - brought back memories of how awful it was to be 14 and how lucky the teenager is to have someone trying very hard to work it out.

May I suggest taking the MH to a festival - get your teenager to bring a friend. We were at a small music festival recently and lots of families were there. It was a safe environment for the kids to roam freely and for the parents to chill as well.

My 5-a-day: coffee, cake, chocolate, crisps and cuddles
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post #52 of 57 (permalink) Old 21-02-2016, 18:14 Thread Starter
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You may have noticed I've been a little absent of late.

We are now approved foster carers. Something we both wanted to do for very different reasons.

So, little one is now nearly 17 and she has a serious boyfriend. Yeah, it's hard trying to get my head around this! Oh God, I don't like this. I really really don't like this!!

But who am I to be worried?

I started going out with my girlfriend when I was 16 and we were together for 28 years until she sadly passed away. We had a wonderful life together and it was a truly wonderful loving relationship. Little one knows all about my past. I can hardly tell her not to get 'too involved' can I? He's a nice boy. We know his family. I hope it goes okay for both of them. Oh God, I hate this!

She's a good girl and we both love her very much. She knows this. We want her to be safe and at some stage she has to become an adult I suppose....Oh God, why now! I don't like this! Why can't they stay children forever??

And now we have 'special child'...

We got a call from a social worker sat in McDonalds with a 13 year old. She has nowhere to go. It's only for 5 days. We know you were approved for 1-9 year old's but we really think you guys will get along.....

A horrible teenager!! Smashing up the local shops! getting into fights and taking drugs! setting fire to the house and running away!

Me I don't think we should do this.

Her It's only for 5 days. We can do 5 days. She needs somewhere and we have a bed for her
Me Well, if it's only for 5 days I suppose we can do 5 days

Several months later.....and could possibly be longer

Oooh, she's a little minx!

She's a bit cheeky sometimes. She's funny. She's clever. She's street smart. She struggles taking compliments. She's a little bit rough round the edges (as am I!!) and we care for her deeply. We're not allowed to say we love her dearly and would miss her terribly. This is a job and we shouldn't get attached. We are not 'foster parents' we are 'foster carers'.

She looks to our little one constantly. If our little one doesn't like something, then special child doesn't like it.

Special child came from an environment where she was expected to be a carer for others. In our house, she is the youngest child and we allow her to be a child. She is the baby of the family and we treat her as such and she thrives on it.

Problem now, little one doesn't like the motorhome and has voiced this. But she has another life now with her boyfriend and that's OK.
Special child has to come with us wherever and whatever we do. She's picking up the negative vibes about motorhoming (toilet situation!) and she's following little one's lead - if she doesn't like then I don't like it.

She follows our daughter like a little duck. Our daughter is OK with this. It's a good thing for both of them. Special child follows by example and our daughter leads incredibly well. We would have struggled without little one's guidance.

Now we need to separate them to give our little one time with her relationship and special child is going to miss her.

Already trying to tell little one to be more positive about motorhoming for special child's benefit.

Reworking cycle rack to carry more bikes (a video will follow!)

Trying to gently introduce her to motorhoming, but it's not easy as our little one hates it so much and has voiced all her negatives!

Got to get more ideas and fun things to do with our special child now!

HELP!
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post #53 of 57 (permalink) Old 22-02-2016, 15:24
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Good luck with it all! I'm sure your daughter will be fine, she sounds sensible and able to look after herself. Young love, as you know yourself, can work very well. I was 17 when we married, John was 18. That was 47 years ago, and we are still happily married!

As for special child, will you be taking her with you in the MH without your daughter? Maybe if they are not together special child will feel differently about the MH. And if you have room, maybe you could take special child and a friend of hers in the MH, try it for a few days on the first trip? All the best, Linda
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post #54 of 57 (permalink) Old 22-02-2016, 15:54
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You are gluttons for punishment
Girl teens are complicated and yours sound typical
At their age I didn't want to go anywhere with my parents nor did my daughter
Could it possibly be you have an ideal vision which unfortunately they do not hold ?
It's possible that nothing you do could make it attractive.
On a more positive note we took our truculent spoiled 13 tr old to La Quercia an all singing and dancing Lake Guarda campsite where attractive young people are PAID to engage them in activities day and night. They only report to you at mealtimes/ bedtimes.
It worked a treat - not really our cup of tea but hey ho if the kids are happy everyone is happy.
We went for years on the run and eventually she to a summer job there
Time marches on 15 yrs later we still go now as large family groups and madam brings our gorgeous grandkids.
We once took her to Verona and she spent the entire time skulking in McDonalds
Good luck- be careful taking a mate it can cause double trouble

Enjoying our motorhome travels in UK and Europe looking forward to our new van a Globemaster campscout
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post #55 of 57 (permalink) Old 22-02-2016, 17:47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by david-david View Post
You may have noticed I've been a little absent of late.

We are now approved foster carers. ...

HELP!
Bloody Hell!!

I take my hat off to you - I don't think I could (actually, I know I couldn't) manage to do what you do.

Well done - and best wishes for a good outcome for your challenges - all of them!

Cheers

Dave
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post #56 of 57 (permalink) Old 23-02-2016, 05:43
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Well Done David, you are obviously a very kind, caring & unselfish couple, I don't think I could even contemplate doing fostering on any level, not enough patience, I hope you find good solution for Special child
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post #57 of 57 (permalink) Old 23-02-2016, 07:42
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David-David, Its is people like yourselves that deserve the commendation for the thoughtless services that you offer to our society. sir I can offer you no words of wisdom in your quest other than a happy outcome for all parties.

We went through the stropy teenage years with our daughters but at that time we wasn't M/Hing and so the issue's you have had and are having at present never reared it's head, but like a previous poster suggested maybe try and find places where teenager are catered for within the facilities that they offer.

Good luck

M
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