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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 19-01-2016, 15:11 Thread Starter
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The 3 secrets of Happiness; Motorhoming, No Facebook, Marriage

Well, according to my interpretation of a recent Harvard psychiatrist quoted in the Independent.

The three secrets are

1. Close relationships - motorhoming/rallying is just what the psychiatrist would recommend if he knew it existed.

2. Quality of friendships, not quantity - so that rules out Facebook and similar social media. Might even rule out Fun but not Facts.

3. Stable & supportive marriages. Not sure what these are but I think most of us are only allowed one at a time. Psychiatrists have been saying for many years that a stable marriage lowers the risk of mild cognitive impairment and dementia and is critical to our health & well-being - apparently it's the vows that elevate the relationship. Not sure whether these psychiatrists live in our world although this one at least says you are more likely to be happy being single than being in a bad marriage.

Off now to buy some flowers and choccies for my missus before demanding she makes me happy.
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 19-01-2016, 15:23
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Well for my money the expert has got it pretty much spot on !!!

I can happily "tick" all three.

I would have thought that the lack of financial worries would also feature, but WTF do I know ???

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Its not the destination that matters.

It's who you share the journey with (even if like me, itís in a caravan!)
I am very fortunate to have Mrs Plodd to share mine with
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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 19-01-2016, 16:33
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Prefer a stable and supportive relationship to an unstable and unsupportive marriage.
do not think marriage is the important factor, more a mutual commitment to each other, my friends on face book are all known to me, the majority live quite some distance away FB can be great way to keep in touch.
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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 19-01-2016, 22:08
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Haven't a clue
Except a bad marriage must be a nightmare

Don't think I'd need a psychiatrist to tell me that

Ive realised that after 50+ yrs

There is nothing closer

To live that close without love and understanding

Doesn't come near to living in hell

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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 19-01-2016, 22:30
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42 years and counting you don't get there in a bad marriage.
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 20-01-2016, 00:58
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well i,ve tried all three, bad marriage, unhappiness, single 15 years, and very happy, and content, it wasent perfect, but to be in charge of your own happiness, and not able to blame anybody else, and now 34 years with bernard, he nags ,moans grumps s, and generally can be a pain, but he would carry me to the ends of the earth if he had to, he loves my kids more than i do, and i,m sure if they had to chose he would come first......

when we talk to other people about living in a tin box for 300 nights a year they think we are crazy, and friends are people i care for, some for 50 plus years, not like somebody said to me, i,ve got 1034 friends, i said i dont know 34 people.

i dont need much money, as long as we are warm and fed i,m happy, never could see the point of shopping.........think that comes from when i was on my own.

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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 20-01-2016, 02:02
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Originally Posted by Brock View Post
2. Quality of friendships, not quantity - so that rules out Facebook and similar social media.
I love comments like these from the anti-Facebook people. They have obviously never used it, or they have but not used it in the way they should to get what THEY want from it.

I have family and friends all over the world, all my FB friends (in the 10's, not the 100's or 1,000's) are family and real friends. I set it up so only my FB friends can see what I post and if one of them is prone to posting a lot of rubbish then I 'unfollow' them. that way I don't get to see everything they post but we are still friends, so I can look at what they are up to, see their photos, etc, when I want to, and they can see what I post (unless they think I post rubbish and have unfollowed me ). But more importantly I can keep in contact with them easily. I have also set up a secret group so that immediate family and the closest friends can also see exactly where we are and follow our travels and adventures easily. Only those that I invite even know the group exists, no-one else on FB can see it or its content.

My mother was an ardent anti-FB person, refusing to even think about setting up an account to see what we were up to when living overseas. Now we are travelling all over the world she kept asking for us to email her photos. I told her that our photos are on FB and she could see them there - eventually she gave in and let me set up an account for her so she could see what we are up to - she is now on FB nearly every day

So come on you anti-FB people, either get over your fears about social media and give it a try, set it up and use it the way YOU want to and stop slagging it off when you don't know what you are talking about
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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 20-01-2016, 06:55
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They say "happy wife = happy life" not sure of the validity of that if you can't tell her when she's wrong etc, surely that could make you resentful, especially if she's one of those people who cannot admit to being wrong.
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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 20-01-2016, 08:27
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44 years and counting. Don't know what I would do without him.

As to facebook. I can take it or leave it. Our daughter rarely uses it so we still use the telephone to keep in touch. Rest of our relatives we are not that close to or they do not use Facebook to communicate. I think that sometimes it can make you unhappy as you see all the adventures and exciting lives that others live which you, for whatever reason, may not be able to aspire to.
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 20-01-2016, 08:46
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Originally Posted by havingfun View Post

i dont need much money, as long as we are warm and fed i,m happy, never could see the point of shopping.........think that comes from when i was on my own.

You sound like the perfect partner!

I have had lovely mutually supportive relationships with 2 partners, both Westies.

Women, I didn't choose so well, unfortunately.

I'm daft and proud of it.
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