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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 08-03-2014, 06:29 PM Thread Starter
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The Joy of Children

MY FOOTSTEPS?
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”

A WISE LITTLE GIRL
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, “I’m Mr.Sugarbrown’s daughter.” Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, “I’m Jane Sugarbrown.” The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, “Aren’t you Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter?” She replied, “I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.”

TOO ROUGH
A little girl asked her mother, “Can I go outside and play with the boys?” Her mother replied, “No, you can’t play with the boys, they’re too rough.” The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, “If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?”

THUMB SUCKING
A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, “If you don’t stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon.” Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, “Uh-oh .. I know what you’ve been doing.”

THE LORD’S PRAYER
A mother was teaching her 3-year-old the Lord’s prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer. “Lead us not into temptation, ” she prayed, “but deliver us some e-mail, Amen.”

SO KEEP THE SINGING DOWN, OK?
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to
church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

R ger
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 08-03-2014, 08:23 PM
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Location: bury lancashire
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We went to a christening service

The vicar droned on for ages

In a pause my neighbours little girl, piped up load and clear

"My mummy has got feathers on her bottom"

Well pubic hair has never been the same

Aldra
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 08-03-2014, 08:59 PM
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I thought the Joy of Children was the sequel to the Joy of Sex

Dick
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